Is Your Toddler Refusing the Potty?

14 May

Did you expect potty training to feel easier than this?

Many parents feel completely caught off guard when their toddler resists or refuses the potty, or perhaps starts withholding, or begins having accidents after making progress. It can feel confusing, frustrating, and hard to know what to do next. Please know, you are not alone.

Potty training difficulties are something I see very commonly in my work with families. Even when things start well, a child’s confidence can suddenly dip, and behaviour can change quite quickly.

Some children become upset about the potty process. Others may ask for a nappy again, hide when they need a poo, start withholding poo or wee, or simply begin having more accidents. In most cases, this is not about refusal. It is usually a response to fear, uncertainty, or a previous uncomfortable experience.

Why Toddlers Resist the Potty

In practice, one of the biggest shifts for toddlers is that they are suddenly expected to notice body signals, pause what they are doing, and let go, something that takes time to develop.

For lots of children, this can feel like a lot all at once.

One of the most common patterns I see linked to potty refusal is constipation or a painful poo. Even a single uncomfortable experience can quickly lead to anxiety around toileting. From there, some toddlers begin withholding because they are worried it might hurt again and this can unintentionally create a cycle of ongoing accidents or further constipation.

If constipation is suspected and dietary changes and increased fluids have not helped, it is important to seek advice from your GP or healthcare provider.

What Helps Most

One of the biggest shifts I see is when pressure is removed.

Even well-meaning encouragement can sometimes increase resistance if a child is feeling unsure or anxious.

What tends to help most is:

reducing pressure around toileting
getting the help needed
rebuilding confidence slowly

This stage can feel exhausting for parents, especially when things seem to have gone backwards or been a struggle for so long. But in most cases, once the underlying reason is identified and supported, progress starts to return.

You don’t have to figure it out alone..

If your toddler is refusing the potty, withholding poo, struggling with accidents, or showing anxiety around toileting, there is usually a reason behind it and you do not have to navigate it alone.

At Your Happy Toddlers & Co, I work with families who feel stuck in exactly this stage.

I provide calm, personalised potty training support that helps you understand what is really going on for your child and how to gently move forward without stress, pressure, or guesswork.