“We thought we had cracked it, so why are the accidents still happening?”
This is something I hear from parent’s time and time again.
Perhaps your child has been using the potty successfully, and you thought you were finally getting somewhere.
Then suddenly, the accidents start.
Or perhaps you've been potty training for a while and you're finding that your child is still having regular accidents, despite knowing where the potty is and understanding what it is for.
You may find yourself feeling frustrated and confused. You thought they were getting the hang of it. You've seen them use the potty successfully, so you might be wondering why the accidents are still happening.
Why do the accidents keep happening?
There can be a few different reasons.
Your child may not yet be recognising their body's signals consistently. They might become so absorbed in playing that they don't respond until it is too late, or they may still be relying quite heavily on you to remind them.
For some children, pooing can be a particularly difficult part of potty training. For others, there may be something about their individual experience of toileting that is making the whole process harder than it appears on the surface.
Sometimes children can also feel anxious around the potty or toilet for reasons that aren't always immediately obvious to us. For some children, the sights, sounds, smells, sensations or feelings involved in toileting can feel very different or overwhelming.
Whatever the reason, they are not doing this on purpose.
Repeated accidents aren't necessarily a sign that your child isn't trying, doesn't understand or simply doesn't want to use the potty. There is often more going on underneath the surface.
Just because they know what to do doesn't mean they can always manage it
Potty training involves much more than simply teaching a child where to wee or poo.
Your child is learning to recognise what is happening in their body, understand those sensations and respond to them. For some children, this process happens quite quickly. For others, it can take longer.
This can be especially difficult for parents when they know their child can use the potty, but it isn't happening consistently.
Sometimes, despite all the effort you're putting in, your child is still having accidents or may be finding part of the process harder than you realised.
You don't need to have all the answers right now. Sometimes, your child simply needs a little more time than you first imagined. When you've tried different approaches and nothing seems to be changing, it's understandable to wonder what else you can try.
Sometimes, you need help to understand what lies behind the accidents.
Potty training is a developmental process, not a race.
You don't have to figure it all out alone
If you've tried everything you can think of and you're still feeling stuck, frustrated or worried that you should somehow be further along by now, take a breath.
Potty training doesn't always follow a straight line, and ongoing accidents don't mean your child isn't capable.
Sometimes, understanding why the accidents are happening is the first step towards moving forward.
You don't have to keep trying one potty-training tip after another and hope something eventually works. Because sometimes the most helpful question isn't:
“What potty-training tip should I try next?”
It's:
“Why is this happening for my child?”
To learn more visit Potty Training Packages — Your Happy Toddler & Co
Your Happy Toddler & Co
Supporting families through the early years.
Early Years Sleep Support & Potty Training Consultant. Early Childhood Development & Childcare Specialist. Newborn Sleep Specialist & Maternity Nurse